Feng Shui 1, Private Property 0
The latest Weekly Alibi features the chilling tale of the Crematorium that nearly killed the Cultural Center.
Bryan Arndt, property owner, made the grave mistake of leasing a lot to Charlie Finegan, business owner–New Mexico Mortuary Service and Riverside Funeral Home, to be exact. Finegan sought to expand his business, creating jobs and new tax revenue for the city, by building a new crematorium.
But the Chinese Cultural Center across the street had a problem with this private business transaction. To its owners, explains the Alibi:
It’s about feng shui, the Asian art of placement that aims to create positive, flowing energy, promoting health and balance. Having the energy of death from the crematorium flowing into their space would wreak havoc on the positive energy they’ve spent years producing.
City Council President and Ethnoscientist Martin Heinrich explains: “Zoning was created to prevent conflicts like this.”
Mayor Martin “powerful tool” Chavez joined the fight, quickly forcing the city planning department to revoke their approval of Finegan’s plan.
“There’s nowhere to move,” complained one of the Cultural Center’s owners, while insisting the mortician do just that. Finegan did find a new location, which he’s as yet keeping secret to avoid threatening someone else’s chi.
So Albuquerque entrepreneurs are out tens of thousands of dollars, with private property rights one step closer to the ideological crematorium. But that’s okay because the Parkland Hills neighborhood is safe from “death energy,” an outcome which “feels wonderful.”
A note of caution to businesses looking to locate in Albuquerque: make sure your plans balance universal energy.